It's a scary world, after all.

Our world is scary. I was reminded the other day of how unsafe our world is and how disturbing things can be. Planet Earth is a beautiful planet, but boy is it messy. The people on planet Earth are beautiful, but boy are we messy. I'm not referring to physical messiness (but we are pretty messy that way too...just look at my room!). I'm referring to how (yeah, I'm gonna just say it) screwed up we are! There is so much evil and perverted, twisted, things in our world. It is sad that a girl cannot walk alone without being in fear of someone attacking her or taking advantage of her body. It is sad that there are so many children who come home to parents who are high. It is sad that so many men do not feel adequate to be a man because no one ever affirmed them that they have what it takes. It is sad that so many people do not feel loved. So many people do not know that they are loved! That hurts my heart (as cheesy as that sounds). So many people do not know that they are loved...this phrase continuously crosses my mind and blows it away. How can that be? Every single person ever to exist is loved (by people here, but even more - by the creator). Yet, so many people struggle to believe it. And some, do not even know it. Can we just tell (even one) person each day that they are loved!? Maybe that can be my new goal. And actually, it doesn't have to be everyday (but that would be awesome). I do know that the Holy Spirit will nudge us to tell a person that they are loved at just the right time, place, and...to someone who really needs to hear it. Although, I've gotta say - I think everyone could be reminded that they are loved (I know I need reminded at times too). I'll start now - You. Are. Loved.

And please, please, believe those three words in bold. My heart would not hurt if it were not true. It hurts because it is true and so many people either do not know it, forget it, or do not believe it. So many things in this world tell us otherwise (that's just one way our world gets messy).

I feel that I need to leave this post on a happy note. Y'all ready for this?
Y o u. A r e. L o v e d.

Hotel Earth

We are living in a hotel, the name is Hotel Earth

Everything is out of place, jumbled in a mix of disarray

Hotels were not made for eternal use

More than a night or two, then you're on your way

We are living in this broken place

In a dusted, fragmented room

It's been a long night and a very nasty fight

But when the morning Son arrives

Hotel Earth will be destroyed and re-designed

We will soon be taken home and say

Good-bye Hotel Earth and hello Home Sweet Home

We are back to where we belong

God is Getting Artsy

       During my spring break trip with H2O, a few girls and I decided to get artsy and create pictures. On the evening before we left to go home, I could only find one of my pictures that I made (sadly, the one that I did not like as much). The other one was missing and I asked one of my friends if she saw it. She said that I would get it back later. What? I was so confused and I continued to question her. Did it get thrown away by accident? Or spilled on? She finally told me that she was planning on framing it as a surprise (yeah, I ruined the surprise...but I was determined to know where my artwork was!). 
       The other day, I was thinking about this event and it reminded me of us and God. So often, do we lose faith in God's steady control. When we cannot see the good works of His plans for us, we begin to not trust Him. We want control of our lives (but how can we have adequate control when this world is beyond our clout?). Just as my friend's intentions for my artwork (to be framed) was good, so are God's intentions for us. I never considered framing my picture, but when my friend mentioned the idea, I really liked it. We nearly never consider the content of God's will for us. His plans are so great (even greater than framing your artwork!) that we cannot fathom them. Once we see His good will working and understand His underlying intentions, we like it. No, we don't like it, we love it.
       With the knowledge that God's promises are good (and greater than ours), our faith should strengthen, not weaken. With the knowledge, let us continue in the hope that Christ gives us and let us trust in Him and His will (despite not seeing the details of his plans). He deserves our utmost trust and when we doubt his power, it's probably a big blow in the face to God. Yet, he is so humble about it.

A Plethora of Birds and Bagel Bites

        As I was walking from work to my first class today, I decided to stop by mirror lake and eat my favorite bagel (Rosemary Olive Oil...yum)! As I sat down on a nearby bench, a white goose decided to swim towards me with anticipation of receiving food. This said 'white goose' was staring me down and I just could not resist those goose eyes; I fed him a tiny part of my bagel. This white goose was quite the trend-setter. Before I knew it, five ducks came over begging for food. Then, two other duck-like creatures appeared (they seemed to be a combination of duck, goose, and chicken). A very good friend of mine calls these creatures Chiduckins; I will also call them that. The Chiduckins were quite friendly and would have easily eaten out of my hands if I allowed them to (this made me a little nervous). The 'normal' ducks bickered with each other over my bagel offerings. However, one of the ducks was different - he was peaceful and patient as he awaited his turn (I want to be peaceful and patient like that duck). The white goose remained in the water - he was also patient (and hopeful) and not to mention, the first and the last to come and stay (I want to come and stay with Jesus - stay beside him patiently, putting my hope in him). 
           I did not give the white goose a piece of bagel right away. And once I did, I did not get around to giving him more (for quite some time) due to the arrival of the other birds. Why did he stay? Probably because he was hopeful that I would give him more. In our walk with Christ, we often do not stay when we cannot see Him moving. Should we? Yes. We should be hopeful in Christ, because He will always fulfill us and sustain us. God has a plan (and many) along with the perfect timing for His plan(s). We should be hopeful in His promises and patient with prayer, practicing endurance. Let us remain in Him and Him in us. Let us stay by His side and know that He was working, He is working, and He will work. Let us be like the white goose or the patient duck.
          Okay, so all of that is not actually what my main point was going to be. The whole 'Jesus' stuff that related to the birds' personalities did not even cross my mind until the moment I was writing those parts (Holy Spirit likes to give me Jesus-bird metaphors?). My original point, is this: I simply woke up starting off my day wrong (it was just one of those bad days). At work, I repeatedly got the annoying customers who changed their minds after I made their food. This put me in a very bad mood and I was extremely stressed and frustrated. As I was walking towards mirror lake, I was talking to Jesus (I knew I needed my Jesus-time, or my day and mood would worsen). I asked him to help me improve my mood, my day, and to relieve stress through his love and spirit. He did, oh, did he! How? By sending the fanatic bagel-fan birds my way. I could not help but laugh (out loud) at the site of nearly 10 birds of assortment encircling me, the bench, and my bagel. I did not try to capture their attention, they just came. And it was hilarious. Not to mention, that everyone else who passed by were staring and probably thought I was a crazy lady.
       Anyways, thanks Jesus, for making my day brighter by sending 1 crazy white goose, nearly 5 ducks, and 2 Chiduckins my way. It was great.

A Beautiful Command

One of the coolest phrases (at least, I think so) from the bible is this: Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" - Mark 9:24


When I first read that, I was enthralled by it. And ever since then, I find myself saying it to God whenever I have doubts about life, God, His will...etc.


The phrase is beautiful (and seems like an oxymoron - I love those hah). It is beautiful because while the person saying it asks God for help with his unbelief, he has belief (enough belief to ask God for belief). Commanding God to do something might seem odd or crazy, but a command like this is beautiful because it is a genuine plea for God to do his will. God wants us to believe and have faith in him and when we ask for something like that, he will give it to us.


I was contemplating  (a dangerous past-time resulting in over-thinking & a headache) on this phrase...and I thought of it this way: "I have faith, help my unbelief."  So...the person has faith in God to overcome his unbelief. And then, I thought of if this way: "I believe, help my lack of faith." So...the person believes in God...and asks for faith in him. Faith and believing in something are very different. Satan believes in God...but does not have faith in him (clearly). One can believe that the chair in front of him exists - but does he have faith in the chair to hold him up? So, with all of this, I was trying to decide where each word (faith & belief) should fit into the phrase because I enjoy over-analyzing things which drives everyone else crazy and leaves my brain thoughtless for my actual school work. 


Okay...so, with much thought and writing, I finally decided to conclude that the best order depends on the situation. If someone is in a state of doubt about God's existence and says, "I believe, help my unbelief," he is basically saying that he has faith in God's power to overcome his doubts (his unbelief). However, if someone exclaims the oh-so beautiful phrase because he lacks faith in God, he is saying that he believes in God and needs faith in him also. 


Oh hey, it just keeps going in circles...because if someone has faith in God...he must believe. Right? So...it depends on what type of doubts...and now my brain is confused and no longer wants to process anything. So...I am finished with my analytic ranting.


When it all comes down to things, the phrase is beautiful and I say it to God a lot; it helps me. I encourage you to try saying it to God whenever you doubt his existence, his power, your identity, and so on. Also, the wording in the bible is good just the way it is - it gets the meaning across.

Running with Scissors

You might be thinking that I am about to tell you a horrific story about making a poor life choice by running with scissors...the end result being...well, tragic. To those of you who were excited to hear such a story, I am very sorry, but that never happened. Continue reading, and you will soon find out why I am talking about scissors. S"K"ISSORS (in case you struggle with spelling 'scissors' - it helps me).


Living for Christ is like running with scissors on ice (cheesy, but catchy...and true). Originally, it was just going to be, "living for Christ is like running with scissors." Ice adds the thrill to running with scissors and it semi-rhymes with Christ. Running with scissors on ice (or on floor) is dangerous *gasp* (such a shocker)! Doing anything on ice is quite thrilling and incredibly frightening (broomball...iceskating...running with scissors..). Okay, enough with my obvious, side comments.


When you walk with Christ, you will be persecuted, frowned upon, misunderstood, hated, ignored, shafted...and the list goes on. Life with Christ is not always safe and not always happy (you will gain joy though). Living for Christ means that we stop conforming to the world's ways.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing, and perfect will. - Romans 12:2
***Disclaimer - I am not saying that everything in the world is bad and I am not saying we need to stop doing everything worldly-related when living for Christ. Also, even with Christ, life can be boring at times (homework...rainy days..etc)


If living for Christ is so dangerous, why live that way?
           -> Therefore, since we are surrounded by such as great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. - Hebrews 12:1


When we live for Christ, we are praising Him. No, we do not need to do good works or be super "spiritual" to receive eternal life with Christ. However, after being offered such a great opportunity from the Maker (though we are undeserving), we should praise and glorify him - he kinda, really, deserves it. It's not just a 'we should' type of thing either. It is something that is hard not to do when living for Christ. God opens our eyes to countless blessings when we view things apart from the world. He provides us with more than enough. When I realize this, I cannot help but praise him for his selfless sacrifice.


To sum this incredibly long post (that few, if any of you are still reading)...I'll keep it simple:
CAUTION: Living a life for Jesus is both thrilling and highly dangerous! (It's like running with scissors on ice). And extremely worth it.


***Please note that while living for Jesus (which is dangerous and thrilling...and like running with scissors on ice) is encouraged, literally running with scissors on ice (or any other surface, or thin air if you can fly) is NOT encouraged. In fact, please don't. Just don't. It would be a poor life decision with awful consequences.

Altruistic Motives is A No-Go

I can tell you now, the motives behind my actions are usually not the right motives I should have. Anyone ever lie to themselves about his or her motives to feel better about the action taken? I do, and I must confess that I do it quite often. "Nah, I'm not doing this in order to look really good and impress people...I'm helping people, of course! However, it would make me look like a really spiritual christian...that's a plus. Oh wait, HELP OTHERS!" Smack me in the face! That example is usually how my brain reasons my motives in order to make me feel better about myself and my actions.


Even when motives are truly to help people (a good thing), motives should first, glorify and serve the Lord. For some reason, I find it hard to grasp doing things for Him first, depending on what it is that I am doing. I don't know if the difficulty is caused by the fact that I am unable to physically see God, but I can see people, or something else (or both). 


There is also a tendency to do things to simply feel good. When I sing, I just want that awesome, chilling effect I get when I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. When I sing, I should sing to praise the Lord, not to simply feel awesome.


Here is the order I feel motives should be:
1) Serve and glorify the Lord
2) Serve others
3) For ourselves


Here is the order my motives often lie:
1) For myself
2) Serve others
3) Serve and glorify the Lord
Hmm...according to my calculations, those do not match up...at all. FAIL.
Thankfully, because the Lord wants my motives to be pure, I can ask for pure motives and know that I will receive them. See Luke 11:9. Also, see 1 John 5:14.


1 Corinthians 10:31
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."


Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Pride of Humility

Raise your hand if you are prideful! (If I do not raise my hand, I lie). Pride comes in all different forms. I struggle with internal pride...probably worse than external pride because internal pride is hidden from the world (at least, I like to think it is...making me even more prideful). Do you ever say something extremely witty or humorous, and afterwords, you internally think, "dang, that was awesome. I am awesome." PRIDE! There are times when I  think that I sound awesome in bible studies talking about pride...really? That is how bad it is.

The funny thing is, it is possible to have pride of humility. There are times when I am genuinely humble (once in a blue moon). I look back on those "genuinely humble" moments...and I become prideful that I was once, humble.

Defeated Flower Surrenders to Love

“Love me,” she says

“Love me,” she fights for

“Love me,” she lives for

One by one, the petals fall and color fades

One bold petal remains strongly determined to win

It tugs and pulls for recognition, cries out for the loved heart

“I love you,” it says

“I love you,” it fights for

“I love you,” it lives for

Defeated flower surrenders to love

One by one, rose buds appear and thorns crumble

New petals bloom into beautiful love and life

Bold color bleeds throughout every blossom

Until she freely says, “I am loved, I am loved,

I fight for my savior, I live for my savior, and I love him”

Beauty in Battlefields

Hello. So here is my first post on this blog. I struggled to find a name for my blog and spent my time (probably too much) making a list of names instead of reading for my classes (shh). I'll get to that later...eventually. Anyways, I thought I would explain why I named my blog, "Beauty in Battlefields."

Life seems to be in a constant state of war and is often an oxymoron. While I cannot speak for everyone, others might agree that life tends to be crazy and chaotic but sometimes slow and boring (oxymoron). Life can be horrible but sometimes it is wonderful (again, oxymoron). Life can be ugly but it is also beautiful (Oxi...you get the idea, if I say it one more time it'll probably annoy you). 

Because of previous experiences and events in my past, I can tell you that there is beauty in our battlefields. By battlefields, I mean moments (sometimes years) of suffering, pain, confusion (a.k.a. one of those negative moments in your life). Usually, it is not something we see or recognize until enough time passes for us to see the "big picture" from beginning to end (sadly, we can't always see the end...bummer). Now I will explain what I mean by beauty. When we view things apart from the world, we begin to see the good things through the bad, we learn things that we might have not learned if our battlefields never happened. When I fail to find something that makes my battlefields worth the pain, others always find it for me. This is hopeful (and helpful) through current battlefields and battlefields to come. Whether it takes a while to find beauty or someone else to point it out, there is always beauty in battlefields.